It is a rare Christian who has no unsaved family members – and I’m not part of that select group. It is a rare human being who gets along perfectly with their mother – and I’m not counted with those folks either. Right now my mother is very upset with me – that is one thing we agree on. She is VERY upset with me. Naturally, I think it’s unjust, and she thinks it is just. There’s little use in trying to analyze the past, and even that we can’t agree on… I will say that I have caused her as much pain as she’s caused me. This was never one-sided; I have wronged her many times in the past. Without getting into the particulars of this particular argument, one bone of contention between us – and in my opinion, the root cause of many of our problems in the last few years – is that the more I love God, and live like it, the less she likes me. All arguments, no matter what topic, lead to the same destination: my checkered past up until about age 25, and my faith for the last 10 years or so. The qualities that God is developing in me are distasteful to her. I’m a religious whacko, a nut job, and really just one baby step away from being in a cult, to her way of thinking. Turns out that the
servant is not greater than his master, neither is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. Joh 13:16
That’s right. All was not sweetness and light between Jesus and Mary all the time, either. If anybody on this planet knew that Jesus was the Son of God, Mary knew. But when they found him, after three days of searching, in the temple at Passover, she did not express amazement that he was teaching adults, even though he was only 12 years old. She chastised him for making her worry although it seems a pretty safe bet that as the Son of God he would not be murdered, kidnapped or molested. Later on, after he offended the people in his home town after preaching in the synagogue, he said
A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country and in his own house.
(Matthew 13:57)
Reading that story in both Matthew and Mark, it is striking that there is absolutely no mention of his family members standing near him and offering any kind of defense when the rest of his town, people he grew up with, were offended by what he said. Based on the context of what the other people said, I’d guess that they were not present at all. And he was without honor in his own house. Now if my brother came to New Orleans to preach a sermon, I’d be there. Especially considering this was a small town, and there was probably not a huge selection of synagogues to choose from, if in fact there was more than one. The way I see this, they stayed home from church that day rather than listen to Jesus, who quit his steady, respectable job as a carpenter and became an itinerant preacher. (Comment at the bottom of this blog if you think I’m wrong – I’m very curious about this.) As an adult he did dissociate from his family to a certain degree, as we all should, but it also seems clear there was some rejection on their part. He was always respectful and kind to his mother (for example the wedding at Cana), and treated her with every courtesy, but it’s also clear he was not ruled by her in any way.
And His mother and His brothers came to Him. And they could not come near Him because of the crowd. And it was told to Him by some, who said, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside desiring to see You. And He answered and said to them, My mother and My brothers are those who hear the Word of God and do it. (Luke 8:19-21)
This was not by any means a tit-for-tat kind of thing – you rejected me so now I’m getting back at you. But he was making a pretty strong point both to the crowd and to his family, who knew darned well that Jesus was divine. (Who better to know that?) If you are not with me you are against me. If you don’t hear the word of God and do it, you can’t stay in a relationship with me.
For I have come to set a man against his father, and the daughter against her
mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man’s foes
shall be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me
is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. (Matthew 10:35-37)
But what happens if we do love Jesus more than father or mother, or son or daughter?
And Jesus said to them, Truly I say to you that you who have followed Me, in
the regeneration, when the Son of Man shall sit in the throne of His glory, you
also shall sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And
everyone who left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or
wife, or children, or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold,
and shall inherit everlasting life. But many who are first shall be last; and
the last shall be first. (Matthew 19:28-30)
Does this mean I’m off the hook with my mother? I can say, “Unless and until you start hearing the word of God and doing it, you’re no longer my mother.” Uh… NO. There’s an old joke, where the father tells the son to get a haircut. The son replies, “Lighten up, Dad, after all Jesus had long hair.” The dad’s response? “That’s fine for Jesus, but you’re not Jesus.” The way I see it, my job here is to regretfully accept that she doesn’t like me and isn’t going to start liking me short of divine intervention. Literally. In fact, she’s going to like me less and less as time goes by, and what that means is that I’m on the right track – growing ever closer to God. I can be courteous and respectful, and show her that I love her each time I get the opportunity. I can hope she joins me. But no way am I going to join her back out in the world. You can’t go home again, nor do I want to. So I am sad about this problem with my mother. But I’m thanking God for his mercy and acceptance. His grace really IS sufficient.
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