1990 – Wilson Phillips was on what seemed like every radio station every minute of every day advising everyone to Hold On. My life was in a shambles, but I was trying. After all, I was living for two, with a due date near the end of April. My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship, but she took me in, and to her credit, never said “I told you so.” Kris was still living in Florida. Finally May came and my daughter arrived nearly two weeks late. The whole time I was in labor I found myself thinking of Kris. I somehow knew if I called him he would come. I never called. However, he moved back to New Orleans soon after the baby arrived. Kris is brilliant, and unbelievably stubborn. Since being direct had not worked, he began a campaign of Stealth Dating by asking me to help him shop for various items. For example, “I need some new jeans for work, and I can never find anything in the mall. Do me a favor and help me out after work tomorrow, will you?” After shopping, he’d say, “At least let me buy you dinner to say thanks.” He never flirted or hinted, although I began to wish he would. Finally I did, and we moved into our first apartment in 1992.
1993 – Whitney Houston sang “I Will Always Love You” continuously, and I sang along, thinking of Kris. After more than a year we decided to get married, and wanted to do so in church, so we began attending a nearby Baptist church. We couldn’t afford a big wedding, and since our families didn’t want us to marry we weren’t keen on inviting them anyway. We arranged to get married after church with just a couple of witnesses. I had to send away for a copy of my first husband’s death certificate before we could get a marriage license, and the next Sunday after we got our paperwork in order was Valentine’s Day, 1993.
Kris and I went through quite a lot before we were married, and things were not all sweetness and light afterwards. We both still had a lot of growing up to do. Our growth in the Lord has continued and when I look back, I see now that Romans 8:28 did in fact apply to me. I see the selfish, immature child that I was, unfit to be a wife or a mother, and I see that God was with me when my parents divorced, when my heart was broken at the end of my engagement, when my husband left and when he died, and at every other ending, abandonment and trouble in my life. The times when I was in the most pain have turned out to be the times most beneficial to me, just as Malachi 3:3 implies. He has made (is continuing to make) me into a woman who is fit to serve Him. Luke 11:9 is true. I used to wonder how a merciful God can allow bad things to happen; now I know. He answered my prayer, albeit not in a way I expected. And I am so very thankful. Kris and I have been married for 13 years today. Our daughter (he adopted our daughter a few years after we married) is 15, saved, and growing into a rather amazing young woman.
And all three of us have an ongoing, growing relationship with the one who stayed, the only One who will always stay, the lover of our souls.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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