A few days ago I posted Bravery, which had some pretty strong statements on divorce and stated that I believe Christians ought to be ashamed of the fact that the divorce rate in the Christian community is as high as the non-Christian rate of divorce.
I found in the referrer log that someone searched Google for “ashamed divorced Christian” and came to Pursuing Holiness, which was the number two search result. Maybe I’m reading too much into that search string, but I concluded that a Christian got divorced and now feels ashamed of it. That Christian, perhaps seeking comfort and maybe advice, came here and read something they’ve probably already figured out. Divorce is almost always a bad idea. No help was offered in that post, and in all honesty I don’t feel qualified to give it beyond saying this:
Forgiveness is yours. Take it. There may be consequences for the sin of divorce, as there were consequences for David’s sin of adultery and murder. But David was still a man after God’s own heart because he repented. He asked for and received forgiveness from the God who loved him. Through all the consequences of his sin, God was with him. And he will be for you, too.
UPDATE: Interesting perspective on a commenter’s blog: Mike from The Gates Are Open has a series on divorced Christians. 1 2 3
Amen.
You spoke the truth. When a person
repents and turns to the Lord, he
will find that our God is a
“running-out-to-meet-you” God who is
an ever present help in trouble, and
who has cast our sins as far as the
east is from the west. Yes, He is
there for us through the consequences
of our sins. Praise to Him!
Blessings,
Charlotte
I have heard that the divorce rate among Xtns are slightly higher now than in the secular world. I guess we need to keep in mind that a lot of the folks who get divorced might be nominal christians also.
Ciao,
R. Rao
Good point!
When I checked out your blog, I really enjoyed it. I added it to my blogroll.
I am curious where you get the idea from the Bible that divorce is a sin. You can only repent from sins…since the Bible doesn’t call divorce a sin, what is there to repent from? Actually, many people may have to repent from the sins that lead to divorce. But that doesn’t include everyone.
I know that Christians don’t always agree that divorce is a sin. And I agree the bible doesn’t specifically call divorce a sin, the way it calls murder a sin. Jesus was certainly not in favor of an “irreconcilable differences” kind of divorce; he said in Matthew 19:7-9 that it was permissible ONLY in cases of adultery (and from other statements Jesus made, it’s fair to include adultery of the heart and/or of the body). Notice that divorce is permissible in cases of adultery, but by no means mandatory. Many marriages do recovery from adultery and those couples eventually enjoy a happy marriage again.
In Ephesians 5 husbands are commanded to love their wives like Christ loved the church. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. (And before a bunch of people jump on me for that last statement, submitting doesn’t mean being some brainless, spineless sex slave! It says “as to the Lord” and if you find out what that means, you won’t be offended by that verse.)
Divorce is certainly not consistent with either of those commandments. They are very broad, I think intentionally so, so as to close a lot of loopholes, much like Matthew 22:36-40. If you think the Ephesians 5 instructions for marriage were just friendly advice for Christians, something optional, then discussion is not a lot of use.
Mike, I see you have a series on divorce, which I will read and I’m also going to link to it so all (well, okay, BOTH –
)of my readers will have a chance to read it as well.
I see Mike made the comment that divorce is not a sin. I would like to emphasize this point. God divorced Israel. God does not sin.
It is what leads to divorce that is the sin and must be repented of. God gave Israel 400 years to repent of her idolatrous behavior and when she did not, He divorced her. He did not give her a writ of innocence in the divorce, either. He asks Judah in Isaiah 50, “Where is the bill of divorcement for your mother?” There was none because she was guilty.
Laura, I am so delighted you posted the forgiveness part! It is just so easy for Christians to condemn the divorced person because that is like the Red A, the Scarlet Letter. IMO, churches do not have enough forgiveness in their hearts and too much condemnation. I am almost as passionate about this as women in church leadership roles.
Hello:
In July 2005 My Wife of 6 and 1/2 years of marriage. Divorced me. She said it’s because of Irreconcilable differences, i asked her what are they? To this day she has not told me. I thought all marriages have differences, but thought Jesus Christ, we should work out all things togeather.
Through his love and forgiveness.
We never had any counselling about this Irrconcilable differences, of hers, She just cold turkey DIVORCED me. We both are Christians, And I Love her Very much (and she Just wants to be BEST friends, be with me every weekend, but not married to me.?????