You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

[With apologies to the Stones]
You can’t always get what you want… but if you trust in God, you’ll always find you get what you need.

We recently got digital cable and HD TV to go with our high-def projector and 10′ x 7′ screen. TV is a whole new experience. One new feature is a nifty channel guide that can be browsed. As we were scrolling through the guide, I noticed a show about New Orleans Katrina stories - and it turned out to be hosted by Brad Grundmeyer.

I hadn’t thought of Brad in almost thirty years. Brad was my first crush. I was in the fourth grade, a rather geeky ten year old with a lot of problems at home, ulcers - and the treatment for that in the 70s was a bland diet including baby food so lunch was an absolute nightmare, bad vision (I usually wore contacts but sometimes had to wear coke bottle glasses), and a regrettable wardrobe insisted on by my mother. Brad was one of the nicest, coolest, boys in my class and I quickly decided he was The One. Since ten year olds have notoriously short attention spans when it comes to unrequited love, I eventually moved on with my life - after I got over the mortification of my brother catching me writing “Mrs. Brad Grundmeyer” in my notebook and telling Brad’s brother.

Of course I made my husband turn on the show. He was bemused, and the Daughter of the House was unimpressed, which is about what you’d expect from a sixteen year old. Brad is very well spoken, and apparently grew up from being a very nice boy into a very nice man. A quick Google search revealed that he’s very involved with a lot of local charities.

It’s amusing now to look back on the time when, however briefly, I invested so much of my emotions and hope in an unsuspecting ten year old boy. It’s also instructive to see the pattern.
1. I urgently desired a particular outcome: I was convinced that Life Would Be Good if I could just marry Brad Grundmeyer.
2. It was completely unrealistic: I was ten years old, and marriage was a long way off.
3. I didn’t have the knowledge I needed to make such a decision: I didn’t really know Brad. He was an acquaintance and a classmate, not a friend. I have no idea what his interests and dreams were.
4. What I did to manipulate the situation made it worse: I made an ass out of myself trying to impress Brad.
5. It was temporary: I got over it quickly. I don’t remember now if it was days, weeks, or months, but I did get over it. And if Brad had “liked” me too, that would only have extended the crush, not changed the eventual outcome.

I saw that pattern repeated in various ways for years, and while it occasionally crops up these days, it’s rare, and I’m no longer ruled by it. The general discontent that caused me to repeatedly seek more money, a better job, a bigger house is past, because God has given me everything that I need, and more than I ever dreamed. That doesn’t make me independently wealthy, but I have so much abundance that I’m able to give away about half of my time and income. Here’s the change: there are few things I urgently desire, because I already have eternal life (John 3:16), a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), and I am given everything I need, every day (John 10:10). I live in a modest house, drive a Saturn, shop at places like JC Penney’s, and take these verses to heart:

A man in a crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, tell my brother to give me my share of what our father left us when he died.” Jesus answered, “Who gave me the right to settle arguments between you and your brother?” Then he said to the crowd, “Don’t be greedy! Owning a lot of things won’t make your life safe.” So Jesus told them this story: A rich man’s farm produced a big crop, and he said to himself, “What can I do? I don’t have a place large enough to store everything.” Later, he said, “Now I know what I’ll do. I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones, where I can store all my grain and other goods. Then I’ll say to myself, ‘You have stored up enough good things to last for years to come. Live it up! Eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.’ ” But God said to him, “You fool! Tonight you will die. Then who will get what you have stored up?” “This is what happens to people who store up everything for themselves, but are poor in the sight of God.”

Jesus said to his disciples: I tell you not to worry about your life! Don’t worry about having something to eat or wear. Life is more than food or clothing. Look at the crows! They don’t plant or harvest, and they don’t have storehouses or barns. But God takes care of them. You are much more important than any birds. Can worry make you live longer? If you don’t have power over small things, why worry about everything else? Look how the wild flowers grow! They don’t work hard to make their clothes. But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn’t as well clothed as one of these flowers. God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. Won’t he do even more for you? You have such little faith! Don’t keep worrying about having something to eat or drink. Only people who don’t know God are always worrying about such things. Your Father knows what you need. But put God’s work first, and these things will be yours as well. My little group of disciples, don’t be afraid! Your Father wants to give you the kingdom. Sell what you have and give the money to the poor. Make yourselves moneybags that never wear out. Make sure your treasure is safe in heaven, where thieves cannot steal it and moths cannot destroy it. Your heart will always be where your treasure is.
(Luke 12:13-34 CEV)

God has not given me everything I ever wanted. And I thank Him for it.