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Banning the “N-word,” Global Warming and Gay Marriage

September 19, 2007 by Laura | Trackback URI

Some people are more equal than others when it comes to insulting words. If you have enough melanin, you can use the dreaded “N-word” with impunity, along with the correct word for a female canine, and that long-handled garden tool - minus the “e” at the end.

Snoop says,

“It’s a completely different scenario,” said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. “[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We’re talking about ho’s that’s in the ‘hood that ain’t doing sh–, that’s trying to get a n—a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain’t no old-a** white men that sit up on MSNBC [which announced Wednesday it would drop its simulcast of Imus’ radio show] going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha—-as say we in the same league as him.”

Nearly twenty years ago, a member of my family explained to me at length why there was nothing wrong with her using the “N-word” because she was referencing low-class, criminal, drug-dealing, no child support paying, young black men - not all black people. Never that! Besides, they use it All. The. Time. so it must be okay. And yet, at the end of the day, I had to explain that she was either going to give up the use of that word in my presence, or not spend time with me or my daughter. I didn’t want my daughter, who was very young at the time, raised in an environment where that word was considered acceptable. I find it interesting that Snoop used the exact same argument as my relative. Snoop can do what he wants, but I think that the hypocrisy is worth noting, as well as the fact that it perpetuates socially acceptable racist terms.

Likewise for the “B” word (profanity asterisked out):

In a videotaped deposition played for the jury at fired Knicks exec Anucha Browne Sanders’ sexual harassment trial, Thomas said he drew a distinction between whites and blacks when it came to the B-word.

Asked if he was bothered by a black man calling a black female “b****,” Thomas said: “Not as much. I’m sorry to say, I do make a distinction.

“A white male calling a black female a b**** is highly offensive,” Thomas said. “That would have violated my code of conduct.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go there. … A white male calling a black female, that is wrong with me. I’m not taking that. I’m not accepting that. … That’s a problem for me.”

It seems that Mr. Thomas’ code of conduct is intended to control other people’s behavior - specifically white men’s behavior - instead of his own. He’s “sorry to say” it - but why?  Perhaps at some level he understands how hypocritical he is.  He wants to defend black women from some people, but reserve the right to denigrate and insult them himself.  But if the word is wrong, it’s wrong for everybody, all the time.

A large part of the successful push for gay marriage is that people feel the institution of marriage is not worth defending. You don’t work to defend something that is meaningless to you. Both divorce and cohabitation are up, and long term marriage - reaching the silver or gold anniversary - is down. If conservatives - especially Christians, whose divorce rate tracks with the rest of the country - really believed in marriage, we would get married and stay married. But we don’t. And since few people feel particularly moved to spend time and energy defending traditional marriage, the issue of gay marriage is on the table and may become legal all over the country. Traditional marriage - lifetime commitments, for better or worse, until death do we part marriage - has largely been abandoned. Now it’s emotion-based. “I don’t love her anymore,” and “He isn’t fulfilling my needs.” But if emotion is the criteria to get and stay married, then we are hypocritical to complain when others pick up that argument and use it as well. Like it or not, marriage is fair game. We abandoned it and they’re picking it up.

Al Gore is a superstar to the global warming crowd. He’s put a lot of miles on his private jet, traveling around and preaching the Doctrine of Gaea. But as Glenn Reynolds succinctly noted, “I’ll believe it’s a crisis when the people who say it’s a crisis start acting like it’s a crisis.”

If minorities really do wish for certain words to become socially unacceptable, they’re going to have to give them up first. Show that you mean it - stop using words you identify as offensive. Teach your children and influence your communities to stop using the words you claim are so hateful. When white people really believe that you believe those words are wrong, we’ll follow your lead. People have a right to say what they want, and these things must not be legislated. But we can and should self-limit what is considered acceptable in polite society.

It may have started already: Comedian gets the hook for using N-word. I certainly hope so.

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