Reality Checkpoint – a new internet verb, “calvan”

An amusing story of the reporter from the Sacramento Bee who didn’t have the appropriate ID to get past a Green Zone checkpoint is making the rounds. It’s amusing because it so perfectly illustrates the media’s disdain for the troops – and in fairness, probably for everyone else as well – and the patience and professionalism of your average, everyday soldier. The reporter wrote,

With nothing to lose I decided to get pushy. [...] I made it known that I was jotting down his name.

My security man was struggling with a smirk on his face. He knew my plan. I was going to bully my way back into the Green Zone. [...]

When you’ve got nothing to lose, I told my security officer, you do what it takes. He nodded in agreement.

The reporter, bombarded with negative comments, replaced most of the offending post with this tepid, semi-literate non-apology:

(Yes, I’m obviously new to blogging. Somtimes I share too much. The blogosphere has reacted and pointed out my folly. Yes, I can be pushy. I can also be wrong. I’v’e edited this post — and have shut down the comment feature.)

I could have a good time fisking just those six sentences, not to mention the original post, but why bother? Aside from the fact that LGF and Ace have the original post saved so it will live in infamy, DocWeasel thinks that Bobby Calvan might be salvageable. And the classic gem out of all this, in my opinion, was commenter David Vogel’s response:

If I could offer a correction, you did not have “nothing to lose.” Fabritsio Kuattrokki, the Italian hostage who – “I will show you how an Italian dies” – while trying to tear off his hood and look into the eyes of the men who were about to put a bullet through his head, had nothing to lose.

You, sir, had nothing to fear. The hostage defied his murderers because he knew nothing he did could make the consequences any worse. The reporter antagonized an American soldier because he knew nothing he did would have any consequences.

The first is the act of a hero, the second the act of a child who feels brave for throwing pebbles at a well-trained guard dog.

Calvan had nothing to lose, because although he was attempting to face down and bully a man with a gun, he accurately assessed that he had absolutely nothing to fear from a United States soldier. Anyone who thinks the threat of “jotting down his name” is in any way comparable to a loaded, automatic weapon, must have an ace in the hole – otherwise he would be a complete fool. Bobby Calvan, whether or not he will ever admit it, was relying – with good reason – on the professionalism of a man he despised. That’s a reality check. Calvan weaseled his way through the checkpoint in Baghdad, but maybe he’ll go through this one the right way.

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Well, maybe he won’t. While I was writing this post, he apparently took down the entire website rather than simply shutting down commenting and posting an apology. Well, if you’re interested in reading the comments on the post, which were classic, click here for the PDF.
click here to read the original post and all the comments at Docweasel.

The only question left at this point is what is the definition of the new internet verb, calvan?

The Violence Worker offers one:

To be Calvaned is to write something about yourself that you think is so great an your readers find is so despicable, that every commenter lets you know just how loathsome you really are. Usage: Joe’s post got him Calvaned big time!