2008
Frank J - 2016
Well, he can’t do any worse, and this sounds like a pretty good platform:
I’m going to campaign on getting the federal government back to the basics. That means focusing on having it only do what citizens can’t do for themselves: Kill bad people in foreign lands. Also, nuking the moon.
The official phrase of my campaign will be, “Shut up. Not my problem,” which I will deploy any time someone comes whining to me about what they want me to do for them as president. Like what’s with all the people going around today hoping the next president will fix the economy? The government is pretty much the opposite of the economy; you take money out of the economy to put it in government. If anything, to fix the economy you want the government to do less, not more, so you can take money out of the government and put it back into the economy. Duh.







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