(Warning: Potentially offensive content, depending on your sensitivity level.)
Me – a middle aged white woman dressed in jeans and tee shirt. You – a black guy in your thirties, also dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. It was at the doctor’s office on Vets on the 6th floor. As I approached the elevator, you were waiting for people to get out of it. When the elevator was empty, you got on it and hit the button for your floor. I looked at you and kept walking toward the elevator, then stopped, shook my head slightly, and stepped back. You looked really offended,and as the doors closed, you faux-masturbated, moaning loudly. I guess you wanted to show the bigoted white woman what a hysterical jerk she was for thinking that all black men are crazed rapists with whom you don’t want to be caught in a tiny metal box.
I wanted to tell you that your rapist potential was just about the furthest thing from my mind right then, being wholly preoccupied with the news I’d just received. I wanted to tell you that while you have undoubtedly suffered from racism and been pre-judged, based on the color of your skin, many times in your life – and undoubtedly will be again – that sometimes it’s just not about you at all. It’s about the fact that my keys were in my hand and I was heading for the parking garage downstairs – and that the arrow light for the elevator had just changed to indicate that it was going up.
If you ever do read this – have a nice day.
I had to laugh, since I had a similar experience years ago during a hot July. I was at a movie theater in really nice suburb of DC and got up during the previews to go to the bathroom. The theater was one of these huge multiplexs, so I had no idea where the bathroom was. I really wanted to go quickly so that I could return to my seat before the movie started. As I started looking, I saw a young black man in suit-and-tie approaching. I asked him where the bathroom was, and he immediately shook his head and put on a “oh, I’m black, so you must think I work here!” look of disgust on his face.
I was furious! No, you were the only guy wearing a full suit-and-tie at that theater during a hot summer night. So yeah, I thought you worked there!
To make matters worse, I met him after the film. Turned out he was a congressman, though I won’t mention his name out of discretion.
Ya know, some of us white folk aren’t racist! But yes, we do judge a person by their clothes.
…please white folks, you know and I know that you are much more likely to make racially motivated decisions than not!
So let me share MY experience: I was in a movie theater one day by myself watching something. Along comes a troupe of three white kids and one white adult. They sat next to me with one of the white children sitting directly to my left. At some point during the viewing the adult switched seats with the child so that she was now sitting next to me. I thought nothing of it and barely noticed the switch UNTIL said white adult felt the overwhelming urge to confide in me that the reason that she switched was because said white child felt ‘uncomfortable’ sitting next to me.
Yikes. Talk about offended. Talk about unjustified. Talk about an adult’s poor choice. That child demonstrated racism in its rawest form and that adult failed to correct her for her actions. And to add insult to injury felt perfectly okay with telling me the root of this nonsensical behavior.
When the movie ended I got up and walked out without one look back or one word spoken fully knowledgable in the fact that those white kids and that white adult are bound to remain on their self-destructive racist paths from now until they leave this earth.
Good riddance. And may those racist children be faced with the angst and insecurity of becoming minorities in this great nation of ours.
Interesting way to start your response, TpC – surely you’re not suggesting that – even if you’re correct – that one justifies the other? But aside from that… if it wasn’t clear from my post, I actually felt pretty bad for the guy. It was never my goal to offend or hurt him. I just wanted to go down instead of up, and in the split second as the doors closed, there was no time to convey that to him. I have at least some idea of how tiresome it must be for him, for other black folk, to deal with racism. On the surface of it, I don’t blame him for his reaction. The problem with that is, in this case, he was just wrong. It wasn’t about him or his skin color at all.
As for your movie experience – interesting that it was the opposite; you didn’t think about it at all, and it turned out to be racism. I agree with you – it’s totally self-destructive. But they’re not bound to it. My family was quite racist most of my growing up years… until my aunt married this guy who turned out to be a Klan member. Dealing with Uncle Klukker made all of us take a good hard look at what we were, and we changed. My mother took in several black coworkers after Katrina, one of whom was terminally ill. Even after L died, my mother remains part of the family, buys gifts for L’s grandkids and loves on them like they were her own. It IS possible for people to change; please don’t give up hope.
I was wondering if the man “alone” in a movie theatre thought about it from a another angle? What if they were afraid of a man, alone at a movie theatre not becasue of his color but because we now have to protect out children from men that “might” be predators? Maybe their reason was your skin color, but what if it wasn’t and you just assumed racist thoughts of another?
Love believs all things! We need to be careful when we judge another’s thoughts and intentions and then never let then clarify! The fact that the woman spoke to you didn’t have to mean she was shoving racism in your face, maybe she was concerned you might think it was racisim and she wanted you to know it was just a child’s silly fear of an unknown adult man? If you live assuming the worst – it will always be the worst! As the initial story represented, if your first thought is always color, it will always be color!!
I have an adopted black daughter and I realized right away that I couldn’t assume bad thoughts of others or I would not be loving others & I would always be angry. This was realized after the first weekend out with my 2 week old baby when some black ladies were unkind to me – a white lady that wouldn’t possibly know what to do with a black baby! I had to choose to let it go and not assume all black people thought me an unfit mother… it took effort when I was so hurt (by ladies I knew!) but I am much happier because of it!