The Boston Herald provides the latest episode of Entirely Missing The Point.
Six middle school students could face child porn charges after a boy took a nude photo of his 13-year-old girlfriend and “sexted” it to his pals’ cell phones, cops said. … Murphy said, “I know it seems heavy-handed to bring child porn charges. Law enforcement is using the only tool it has for what has become a huge problem nationwide.”
So let’s review what’s happened here. A young girl posed nude. Her boyfriend gave the picture, electronically, to a bunch of his buddies. (Evidently nudie pics of themselves are all the rage for the middle-school crowd.) The cops found out, and are now pressing charges.
At what points could this situation have been prevented? First of all, parents have a variety of ways to block, or be informed about, their kids use of cell phones. From not permitting them to have one at all, to not enabling texting, to paying a few bucks to monitor the phones; there are plenty of options.
Second, why is anyone letting middle-schoolers date? Dating is the interview process for marriage. Since these pubescent children aren’t old enough to marry, why are parents allowing them to play at marriage by having boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? What are these relationships going to accomplish other than allowing children to get into emotional entanglements they aren’t mature enough to handle? We should be protecting these children from all the drama of “going out,” “hooking up,” “cheating,” and dealing with jealousy. Not encouraging it or, God forbid, thinking it’s “cute” that little Megan had her first boyfriend when she was only ten, and isn’t she popular!
Third, why are these children being permitted to go unsupervised in such a way that they are able to take nude pictures of each other?
Fourth, why are these children being raised in such a way that they have no respect for themselves? Why are they permitted to be so steeped in either sexuality or peer pressure (or both) that they would even consider circulating nude pictures of themselves?
Fifth, why aren’t the parents getting to know their children’s friends and their parents, and working together to make sure their kids are safe, protected, and adequately monitored?
The core problem here is not the technology, limitations on law enforcement options, or even the children acting like idiots. As usual, it’s the parents.
Hear, hear! I am deeply troubled by this…Parents are the first line of defense. Even with a dysfunctional family (one parent gone; no parents) children don’t “raise themselves” there’s always an adult, a point of reference they look to when things get out of hand and they need to anchor themselves…and these people usually know who they are. It’s like this, if you have any influence in a child’s life it doesn’t take more than 3 seconds to look them square in the eye and sincerely tell them “if you ever feel you’re in trouble or about to do something that you think is wrong you can come tell me and I will help you.” Those words may be the one thing that God uses to help pivot their decision in the right direction. Lord help the parents of our children!
Good point – although the whole “village” concept when used to promote socialism and decrease parental responsibility gets on my last nerve, the fact is when I was a kid, it was normal and expected for other adults to be part of my upbringing. If I was out playing and did something wrong, my mother knew about it before I got home, as often as not – thanks to a phone call from a neighbor. And I knew there were people I could trust and go to for help if I needed it.
Exactly! I had to laugh because I can remember times when I would be so freaked out when my mom would somehow “know stuff” about what I’d done…now it’s so obvious, lol. Ugh and Boo on the whole “it takes a village” socialism garbage…I agree…Parents (when present) raise the kids…not the system. But that doesn’t excuse the rest of us from being “the good neighbor” and watching out for the innocence and safety of children everywhere.
Just as a sidebar, my grandparents (in whose house I lived many years with my mom) have had the same next-door (literally adjacent) neighbors for over 50 years! I’m sure they told on my escapades on more than one occassion
Preach it! One point that I wanted to comment on from your post was the dating thing. That seems to be a foregone conclusion in our society that kids will begin dating at a young (and getting younger) age. Why? My wife and I have already decided (as you mentioned) that our kids won’t be “dating” until they are prepared to marry the person they are hoping to date. I hope they thank us in the long run!
Good for you! I think they will thank you. A lot of kids in my church are being brought up that way, and it helps that there are other kids whose default is to not date.
Very well said! The school that my children attend (private) has a policy of “no serious boy-girl relationships” and it is enforced by the teachers and the administrator. So NO dating in any form. Children do not need the emotional distraction that is inappropriate for their age. There is also a ban on all cell phones. After all, since when is having a cell phone necessary for children in school???? There are phones in the schools offices if problems occur and contact is needed with a parent. As for using one after school hours there are cell phones that can be obtained that do not have the camera capability or bluetooth ability and email capability can be turned off. But once again that would fall in the catagory of being a parent and not an enabler. We must raise up our children (as parents) in the way they must go and they will not likely depart from it.