Non-apology not accepted, Dave.

I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with Allahpundit that his Letterman quote includes an apology. It does not. It includes a post-modern faux apology: “sorry that you rubes misunderstood the joke, which I at least now admit wasn’t funny. To you. Obviously a good portion of my audience enjoyed it immensely and clearly understood it, especially when I non-apologized a couple of days ago. I’ll be more humble this time and see if it flies, so I don’t lose any more sponsors. As a responsible adult I want you to know I did take the time to check and see if that Palin kid was over 18 before I called her a tramp. Because that’s the kind of guy I am, and, again, it’s not your fault that it was misunderstood, it’s my fault. That it was misunderstood. The important thing is that unlike Imus, I’m a liberal who means well, so I deserve a pass for anything I say that is offensive.”

A real apology would not have included all that, “you completely misunderstood me” nonsense. It only takes a few seconds to say, “I was out of line, and I’m sorry for saying that.” Except, in spite of the fact that Letterman admits “it can’t be defended,” he does try to defend it by saying that the real problem is with our perception. Since he laughingly suggested Bristol, not Willow, Palin might have sex with a stranger in a public place, all should be forgiven? Nor do I believe he was talking about Bristol. He checked her age, but somehow wasn’t aware that it was her sister at the game, not her? News reports just referenced a Palin girl but did not name her? Sorry, not buying. I certainly don’t believe he’s sorry or he’d have omitted the excuses which negated the apology.

Non-apology still not accepted, Dave. I hope sometime soon he’ll really comprehend how wrong he is, and if he ever does, his first request for forgiveness won’t be to the Palins or to his audience.

But in the meantime I’ll drop the issue, because I want him to stay on the air. Every time I channel surf past his show on my way to Qubo to watch a far more entertaining Jane and the Dragon rerun, I will pity that bitter, bitter, man, seething with hate that he now has to contain in order to keep his job. Because we have that power over him; we can require him to behave decently, and he knows it. That’s punishment enough.